Recipes..what to do?

Ever tried to make a tempting sounding recipe you have found,
only to find following it left you wanting?
Lately, that has been my story...
I tried an apple cake, twice...
the first time following the recipe exactly, the second trying to "fix" it.
Neither came out well.
I cook a mean Pastitsio, but do not follow a recipe and invariably forget to put the eggs in béchamel sauce, so it is not as light and fluffy as it should be, so i found similar recipes and tried to follow the steps presented...twice also.
I was extremely disappointed, again.
Why does it seem that when i do things "on the fly", so to speak, it works and when i try to follow a recipe exactly, it does not?
I know to much...
I know that there is always variability in the flour and that some times more or less must be added, you have to have it look and feel right and recipes can not tell you what experience can.
Sometimes there are misprints, sometimes they are just wrong.
Apples, even using the same variety, will differ in flavor and juiciness.
Sometimes someones flavors are not what you remember from your mother's cooking...that was true in the Pastitsio,  neither recipe i found used allspice, yet that was the secondary spice of choice from my mom and i missed it terribly.

So i am back to doing things as i often do, "off the cuff"  and i will share what i did and hopefully it will come out okay for you.